Standing at the Crossroads
June 6, 2008 at 4:37 am 1 comment
I stand at the crossroads- a magical place, between the mists. I stand at a fork in the road, not knowing what path to take. I know what I must do, yet I am paralyzed with fear.
Every few years I go through a period of great change. Usually this involves a lot of maturing on my part both internally and in reaction to changes that are going on in my life. The years from 2007 to 2009 are one of those times, and this one is especially big. I am engaged to be married, rather cluelessly trying to find a job, and my immediate family is in the process of moving across the country. They will keep the house to rent out to my fiance and I. It’s just too much!
I recently read a book about the psychological costs of too many choices, called the Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. One of the things the author warned about was of making social comparisons, something I am all too guilty of. I have stressed out and become depressed a lot during and since college over being good enough or as good as others around me- though really it’s more how I perceive them then they really are. The quality of my papers and grades just didn’t equal the level intelligence others told me I have- a frustration commonly faced by people whose minds are wired differently than the expected norm- or “learning disabled” as society labels us.
A few weeks ago there was kind of a straw that broke the camel’s back- the pastor at my partner’s church was leaving for a call to another congregation. This may sound weird but like my partner, I was quite close to him. I didn’t really have any clergyperson of my own faith, but he more than sufficed- both in that role and as a friend and mentor. My fiance sat down and prayed with me to his God to help us with the changes we’re facing.
So, here’s a prayer to one of mine:
Hekate Trivia- Lady of the Crossroads
You who initiate us, and transform us from one state to another
May you guide me with your torched lifted high
The path before me may be dark and unseen, but let me be free of fear
Let this transformation make me stronger- for myself, for my family, for You.
Entry filed under: Disability/Health. Tags: adulthood, change, liminality, mental health, rites of passage.
The Lefthander's Path 
1. » Standing at the Crossroads | June 6, 2008 at 7:01 am
[…] [Technorati] Tag results for mental health wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt I stand at the crossroads- a magical place, between the mists. I stand at a fork in the road, not knowing what path to take. I know what I must do, yet I am paralyzed with fear. Every few years I go through a period of great change. Usually this involves a lot of maturing on my part both internally and in reaction to changes that are going on in my life. The years from 2007 to 2009 are one of those times, and this one is especially big. I am engaged to be married, rather cluelessly trying to […]